god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
