at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
