What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
