the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
