I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
