omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Holy sore nipples Batman
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
