if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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