can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
