Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
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I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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