Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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