I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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