this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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