Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
