first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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