Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
