all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm having to shit out rocks
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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