If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
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I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
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I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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