Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
All I want is dick and wine.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
