the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
