So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
