i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
