And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
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At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
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We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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