Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
