Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
