She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
