She is in my trunk
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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