I wannas sexs uuuuu
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
