last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
