im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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