You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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