Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
