Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again