We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
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She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
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We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it