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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.

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• (518): View more from New York

  im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.

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• (631): View more from New York

  You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu

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• (626): View more from California

  she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo

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  27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag

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  23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...

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• (713): View more from Texas

  I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet

  (770): View more from Georgia

  What is my life?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance

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