Texts From Last Night

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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.

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  (479): She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction. http://tfl.nu/io12
  Replies (2) Good night (797) Bad night (797)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I thought she had blonde hair

  (302): View more from Delaware

  No, Gonorrhea actually

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  (610): I thought she had blonde hair (302): No, Gonorrhea actually http://tfl.nu/3gym
  Replies (6) Good night (657) Bad night (1642)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth

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  (309): I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth http://tfl.nu/zzns
  Replies (35) Good night (3834) Bad night (1497)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??

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  (970): She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care?? http://tfl.nu/ucqp
  Replies (47) Good night (2081) Bad night (3437)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.

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  (919): My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning. http://tfl.nu/jpte
  Replies (13) Good night (674) Bad night (3742)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.

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  (818): I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal. http://tfl.nu/asxv
  Replies (23) Good night (4123) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably

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  (626): yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably http://tfl.nu/rjum
  Replies (9) Good night (608) Bad night (2091)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?

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  (215): who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game? http://tfl.nu/6oz2
  Replies (5) Good night (459) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  "Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."

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  (920): "Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see." http://tfl.nu/5bgq
  Replies (2) Good night (527) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...

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  (310): Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right... http://tfl.nu/uva3
  Replies (0) Good night (573) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wow.

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  (570): Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand? (1-570): Wow. http://tfl.nu/2i6h
  Replies (0) Good night (504) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.

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  (469): He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am. http://tfl.nu/tu7g
  Replies (1) Good night (769) Bad night (222)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.

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  (573): The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is. http://tfl.nu/harz
  Replies (0) Good night (307) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked

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  (443): Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked http://tfl.nu/rzkm
  Replies (0) Good night (642) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!

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  (647): I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers! http://tfl.nu/sbfn
  Replies (6) Good night (467) Bad night (516)

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