I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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