I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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