We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
