you guys were way drunker than both of me
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize