wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
