Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
