Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
