We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
