I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
