wat bout pragnant strippers??
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
