I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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