im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
it's great music for shaving your balls
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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