taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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