Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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