i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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