whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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