Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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