Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
