It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
