So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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