ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
