i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
