he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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