saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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