sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
