I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
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