considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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