lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
A+ Viking dick
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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