Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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