I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
